


With This Heavy Heart

by Tchell1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is there anything wrong with Alec?”Jace asked suddenly. </p><p>Magnus abruptly turned back to Jace, his eyes were gold and Jace watched curiously as some of the shelves in his room started shaking. Bingo.</p><p>“Alexander is fine. Alexander is great. Why wouldn’t he be? He is amazing.” Magnus said and Jace wondered how Magnus could have fooled anyone. The warlock apparently had no poker face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With This Heavy Heart

Jace opened the door of his bedroom to find Magnus Bane on the other side.

“Hi! Nice meeting you here!” said Magnus in an unusual high voice and entered Jace’s room.

Jace closed the door and leaned on it, facing Magnus, who was pacing everywhere and looking at everything. He caught a sword and started throwing it from one hand to the next.

“So, how has it been? Lots of fighting? Lots of killing? Kissing? No, you wouldn’t kiss, that a stupid question- ”

Jace had had enough.

“Magnus. Stop. What’s going on?” Jace asked with an irritated voice.

“Oh, nothing is wrong! The institute is prospering, Clary is the best thing since Egypt invented tattoos, you are still the best shadowhunter to exist. Everything is as it should be. Can’t a guy make you a visit?”

Jace saw Magnus put the sword down and get close to the window; there was blue smoke on his fingertips. He took a deep breath.

“Is there anything wrong with Alec?”Jace asked suddenly. He knew that Alec was physically ok, his parabatai bond allowed him this insight. But being physically alright and psychologically alright were two different things.

Magnus abruptly turned back to Jace, his eyes were gold and Jace watched curiously as some of the shelves in his room started shaking. _Bingo._

“Alexander is fine. Alexander is great. Why wouldn’t he be? He is amazing.” Magnus said and Jace wondered how Magnus could have fooled anyone. The warlock apparently had no poker face.

“Huh.” Jace started. On the best of days, Jace was not good with words. He was too angry and to rash to make small talk and no one in their right mind would vote on Jace to have an emotional talk. “Don’t get me wrong, but it really seems there is something wrong with Alec.”

Magnus threw his hands in the air in a frustrated gesture. Jace was still leaning on the door watching him. For so long, the shadow hunters acted as if they were superior that watching a Warlock so close was fascinating. Jace imagined that Alec’s life had become much more interesting.

Meanwhile, Magnus was still pacing all over Jace’s room.

“How the hell do you live in such a small space?! There is no room to move!” And suddenly, the room became three times its size. Magnus kept pacing.

Jace figured that was enough.

“Ok, that’s it.”Jace said in what he assumed was an authoritarian voice and got close to Magnus. “You need to stop and tell me what is wrong. What did Alec do?”

Magnus looked up to Jace, the alien golden eyes were extremely disconcerting, and smiled sadly.

“Alec is perfect, I don’t think he could do anything wrong.”

Jace gave him back a small smile. He assumed himself would have said something along those lines about Clary.

“We both know that is not true.” Jace said softly.

Magnus stepped back and went back to the window. Jace saw him taking a few breaths and prepared himself for finally figuring out what was so terrible that sent the greatest Brooklyn warlock to his doorstep.

“He really did nothing wrong.” Magnus said to the window. “But I love him. I really, really love him.” He completed in a whisper, as if afraid to say it out loud.

Jace got close to Magnus, he was not the person to be having this conversation with. Jace did not know what Magnus wanted from him. In fact, he still did not know why Magnus sought him in the first place.

“Is this a problem?”Jace asked uncertain. His only experience in romance was with Clary and he didn’t really think that Magnus suddenly had found out Alec was his brother.

Magnus turned back to him and for a moment, Jace thought he was going to be on the receiving end of a sarcastic remark. But, then, Magnus gave him the sad smile again and looked down.

“It is not a problem if both parties feel the same.” Magnus replied “Or if one part does not overwhelm the other with all this feelings.” He concluded.

Jace struggled to understand.

“You…. Think Alec does not love you?” Jace asked just to be sure he had gotten it correctly.

Magnus shrugged. “I don’t want to scare him, but I can’t help the way I feel.”

“Magnus, Ale-”

“There is no reason for Alec to feel the same way I do. I’m pretty sure he finds me attractive, but I cannot lose him, and I don’t want to scare him away and I have never felt like this.”

Jace did not know what to do with all this information, but, lucky for him and for Alec, he actually knew his best friend. He put his hand on his pocket and found his cell phone.

“Magnus, Alec loves you.” Jace said while concentrating on speed dialing.

Suddenly, the shelves started shaking again.

“You… you don’t know what it is like.” Magnus said and the shifting eyes returned alongside with the urgent strides. “You don’t know what it is like to come out to everyone, to endure the pressure of the entire Institute, to fight, every day for a place that was already yours on the first place.” Magnus stopped; everything stopped “I cannot burden him more. I cannot throw all my feelings on him and expect him to understand a thousand years of bottled up emotions. It’s not fair.”

Jace didn’t know what to say. He knew Izzy and Merlion were together and never had he ever heard her speaking about Merlion like Magnus was speaking about himself. Jace, in fact, had never even thought about things this way.

“I… Magnus, I don’t-”

Magnus snorted.

“Oh, why bother?” He said and started walking back to the door.

Jace went after him.

“Alec really loves you, you know. You should talk to him about this.”

Magnus turned back.

“Oh, sound advice, Jace, really! But if you had been listening you would have heard me when I said the absolute last think I want is to burden Alexander more.” Magnus raised a hand to his eyes “I’ll just, enjoy it for as long as it lasts, I guess. Alec is worth it.”

To that Jace actually had an answer.

“Then you are in for a long ride, warlock. Alec chose you. Don’t mistake anxiety with fear. Alec may have his problems, but his love for you is not one of them.”

Magnus actually laughed in Jace’s face.

“I’m a warlock. I’m really hard to love.”

The door to Jace’s room was slammed open. On the other side, Alec, with his cell on his ear, stood looking straight to Magnus.

“You are so stupid” Alec said to Magnus. Jace saw Magnus flinch back and before he could say or do anything to save the situation, Alec went to Magnus and kissed him on his open mouth. “You are the stupidest person I know.” A lec continued after he stopped the kiss, he didn’t let go of Magnus and Jace could notice a distinct red coloration taking over Magnus cheeks.

“Alec-” Magnus started.

“How could you not have known?!?” Alec said over Magnus and kissed him again.

Jace wondered if he should still be present or if he should leave. The decision was taken out of his hands when the door to his room slammed shut and he heard it lock.

Meanwhile, Magnus had managed to break the kiss and was breathing hard.

“Alec… you… how?”

“Jace dialed me.” Alec said easily and Jace saw Magnus stare being redirected at him. “Don’t be mad at him.” Alec continued with a smile. “He was being my parabatai”

Jace smiled back because when Alec smiled like that, with no concerns or worries, you could not help but smile back at him. It was no surprise Magnus fell for him.

“I did not want to pressure you into anything you do not feel comfortable with” Magnus said in a whisper to Alec, again, Jace had the distinct impression Magnus did not want to give voice to any of this fears.

Alec touched his forehead to Magnus and closed his eyes.

“You do not burden me.” Alec said “You love me and you save me every day.”

Magnus’ hand went up on his back all the way to his neck.

“But you do not love me.” He whispered.

Alec shook his head in denial.

“You are so wrong. How can you be so wrong about his and so right about everything else?” he asked gently “Since the beginning, you saw how I looked at you. You knew I was interested even when I couldn’t bear the thought.”

Magnus took breath to start speaking.

“But you missed the most important one.” Alec continued without letting Magnus interrupt. He kissed Magnus on his lips and Jace saw Magnus’ golden eyes look longingly back to Alec. “It was never lust, Magnus. This will not stop.” Alec gave Magnus another kiss. “This is me making a statement. I love you and for the rest of my life I will not leave you.”

Jace saw Magnus close his eyes again and so very slightly lean into Alec. As usual, Alec held Magnus and gave him the support he needed. They started rocking back and forth. The room was unlocked and Jace figured that was his queue to leave. They could have his room for a while longer.


End file.
